Right-click to download

CEMETERY


Don’t go in the cemetery

Don’t go in the cemetery

Don’t go in the cemetery after dark


Old Mr. Frank died when he drank

a bottle of poison that tasted like honey

Alison Tate succumbed when she ate

and old tuna sandwich that smelled kinda funny


chorus


Martin McGriff fell off a cliff

You can still hear his terrible scream to this day

Anthony Lane was hit my a train

We all know the train tracks are no place to play

Phineas Fitch was handsome and rich

sipping champagne when he dropped from his yacht

Solomon Schwartz was covered in warts

said to be harmless, apparently not


chorus


Bartleby Harrison died of embarrassment

from a pimple that grew on the end of his nose

Old Mrs. Hill passed away from a chill

If only she’d slept with the window closed

Frederick Clived died in 1905 from whooping cough

He’s still ticked off


There’s a terrible town under the ground

with spirits and zombies and querulous ghosts

During the day some say it’s okay

but at night keep away, keep away, keep away

No, they’re not the most gracious of hosts

A MOST UNUSUAL NEIGHBOR


There's a very strange man living on my block

and I'm not an easy one to shock but I was

looking out my window on a moonlit night

when I saw an unusual sight


It was Mr. Franconi from across the street

He was chewing on a piece of meat

He was on all fours, it was kinda weird

and I noticed that he'd grown a beard


I got more nervous the more I looked

and I saw that the piece of meat was not cooked

and there were no words in the sounds he made

I ran from the window and I pulled the shade


I picked up the phone, I called 9-1-1

The lady said,

"Does he have a knife or a gun?"

I said what I saw and she said, "That's all?"

Then she gave me another number I should call


I went back to the window but he was gone

and so was the piece of meat on his lawn

I talked to myself , I finally said,

He finished his dinner and he went to bed.


So I went to bed too but I did not sleep

'cause I thought I heard something creeping

up the stairs toward my room

pushed a chair against the door

and my big dresser, too


Thought I heard a growl and I thought it was him

but the sun came up and he never came in

So I went downstairs and I made some tea

and I tried not to think about Mr. Franconi


Weeks went by, everything seemed fine

and I saw my neighbor sometimes

he was going to work or mowing his lawn

he was walking upright and his beard was gone


But a few days later when the moon was full

I thought maybe it was just too much Red Bull

Mr. Franconi was running all  around

he was barking at the moon, he was scraping at the ground


But he was not chewing on a piece of meat

so I threw a pack of hot dogs at his feet

from out my window cause I thought that

he might get hungry and eat my cat


But I knew right away that this was dumb

‘cause he looked up to see  where the hot dogs came from

I ran from the window and down the stairs

but Mr. Franconi was waiting there


And he stood in the kitchen and he blocked the door

and he waved his arms and he made a big roar

Foam was flying from his big, red tongue

and then I realized... he wanted hot dog buns


He went to the fridge and he helped himself

to mustard and relish and everything else

Made a great big mess on the kitchen floor

but then he went home and I locked the door


Six months later, well things have changed

My neighbor’s still a little bit strange

but now there are no howls or midnight feedings

He takes medication and he goes to meetings


And he's very sorry for all he did

even though he can't remember it

He says he's changed and I know he's tried

but I'm still

gonna keep

my cat inside

ZOMBIE


Sometimes something happens

Sometimes something happens

Sometimes something happens

after people die

Sometimes something happens

the spirit cannot fly

so it hangs around, causing problems

after people die


Zombie!  Zombie!

Grave couldn't keep him down

Zombie!  Zombie!

You see 'em all over town

Dead man walkin' , dead man walkin'

Dead man staggering all around

What does it take

to keep a zombie in the ground?


Sometimes something happens

Sometimes something happens

Sometimes something happens

after people die

It happens pretty rarely

But when it does it's scary

Cancel that obituary

Uncle Wally won't stay buried!


chorus


Man on a mission, man on a mission

in a bad state of decomposition (3x)

Man on a mission, man on a mission

You can't say he lacks ambition

He was dead, he was gone

but his mojo kept on keeping on

Bangin' on the door at 2 AM

No, no, no, no don't let him in!


chorus


KNOW YOUR BONES


Know your bones, know your bones know your bones

Know your bones, know your bones know your bones


If you're walking down the street

and you should chance to meet

a skeleton man who takes your hand

and asks you what you know about him...

You don't want to be dim!


Know your bones, know your bones know your bones

Know your bones, know your bones know your bones


Starting with the skull,

what do we call the part that keeps the brain in?

THE CRANIUM!

Say it again!

THE CRANIUM!

And what do we call the jaw,

the wonderful thing that let's us talk and chew?

THE MANDIBLE!

What?

THE MANDIBLE!

Commendible! Remember that, too.


Now underneath the head,

running all the way from the neck and down to the butt

THE SPINE!

it's a powerful tower of bones

that's flexible and yet, it holds you up

THE SPINE!

But when we talk about the spine as individual bones,

what do we say?

VERTEBRAE!

Would you repeat that for our listeners?

VERTEBRAE!

That's the way!


Know your bones, know your bones know your bones

Know your bones, know your bones know your bones


All around the spine,

there are twenty-four wonderful ribs that wrap around

THE RIBCAGE

like a suit of armor,with your organs kept from harm,

safe and sound

THE RIBCAGE


At the bottom of the spine,

there's a bone large and wide called the pelvis

THE PELVIS!

it's the bone that makes your hips

and was made quite famous by Elvis

THE PELVIS!


Know your bones, know your bones know your bones

Know your bones, know your bones know your bones

Like Us

Order Us

Download Us