A MOST UNUSUAL NEIGHBOR

There's a very strange man living on my block

and I'm not an easy one to shock but I was

looking out my window on a moonlit night

when I saw an unusual sight

It was Mr. Franconi from across the street

He was chewing on a piece of meat

and he was on all fours, it was kinda weird

and I noticed that he'd grown a beard

I got more nervous the more I looked

and I saw that the piece of meat was not cooked

and I heard no words in the sounds he made

I turned from the window and I pulled the shade

I picked up the phone, I called 9-1-1

The lady said,

"Does he have a knife or a gun?"

I said what I saw and she said, "That's all?"

Then she gave me another number I should call

I went back to the window but he was gone

and so was the piece of meat on his lawn

I talked to myself and I finally said,

He finished his dinner and he went to bed.

So I went to bed too but I could not sleep

'cause I thought I heard something creeping

up the stairs toward my room

pushed a chair against the door

and my big dresser, too

And I thought I heard a growl and I thought it was him

but the sun came up and he never came in

So I went downstairs and I made some tea

and I tried not to think about Mr. Franconi

Weeks went by, everything seemed fine

and I saw my neighbor sometimes

he was going to work or mowing his lawn

he was walking upright and his beard was gone

But a few days later when the moon was full

I thought maybe it was just too much Red Bull

Mr. Franconi was running all  around

he was barking at the moon, he was scraping at the ground

But he was not chewing on a piece of meat

so I threw a pack of hot dogs at his feet

from out my window cause I thought that

he might get hungry and eat my cat

But I knew right away that this was dumb

cuz he looked up to see

where the hot dogs came from

I ran from the window and down the stairs

but Mr. Franconi was waiting there

He stood in the kitchen and he blocked the door

and he waved his arms and he made a big roar

and foam was flying from his big, red tongue

and then I realized he wanted hot dog buns

He went to the fridge and he helped himself

to mustard and relish and everyything else

made a great big mess on the kitchen floor

but he finally went home and I locked the door

Six months later, well things have changed

My neighbor’s still a little bit strange

but now there are no howls or midnight feedings

He takes medication and he goes to meetings

And he's very sorry for all he did

even though he can't remember it

He says he's changed and I know he's tried

but I'm still

gonna keep

my cat inside